Japandamonium!!!

Sarah asked about my weekend, and I told her that I might get a radio show hour come October.
"That's way better than what I've got," she says. "They're making me talk over our town PA."
Sarah tells me that her town has huge loudspeakers rigged up all over the place; 6:AM announcement, daily, a song at half past, and regular announcements throughout the day. I told her I couldn't tell if it sounded more like prison or M*A*S*H. "How long do you have to go on for?"
"I don't know, three or five minutes. It's every Tuesday afternoon."
"What are you supposed to say?"
"That's the worst part: no one in my town speaks English; it's not like they're even going to understand what I'm saying!"
I ask her if she knows any other languages.
"Sign Language," she tells me, and then we both burst into laughter.
"Catholic Sign Language."
"What?"
"I went to a Deaf Catholic School." We are laughing so hard we're making the Japanese professors at our lunch table excuse themselves for more tea. "And I'm not even Catholic."
We're almost squealing now.
"Or deaf," I say, and then we each upset our lunch trays, thrashing around with something like a profound awe at our own stupidity. "But that's not really what I meant anyway."